Cuts

You know that feeling when you want to do it?

But you haven’t done it in so long

You cant

But you have to

But you wont

You’re afraid of what they will think

Your friends

And then you count them and realize…

You don’t have many

And they don’t care

And then you think…

And you don’t care either

For life or hope

And then you count the reasons you are on either

And you cant come up with many

So you start to cry and dig your nails

Dig deep into that thick skin

As if you could pretend in your mind for just a little bit

That those nails, they were a knife

That those scratches, they were taking your life

And those tears, they were just a reminder that he was worth every drop of blood

And then you open back up your eyes and see…

Nothing has changed

And you are still living

Your arms are not harmed and he is still not there with you

So you start to cry more

And slowly your every breath gets shorter and shorter

And then all you can see is black

Dark black