I really don't know what it is. What is it that makes me so sad? That makes me cry every night. The thing that holds back my laughs. The laughter kept inside is aching to get out and the saddnes is going to eat me alive. Could it seriously be that my brother is gone? This military school is not the right thing for him. Even though my parents think it is, they are wrong. it is just making him worse. he is homesick and he wont get any nicer when he is mad every day.I never thought that it would hit me like this. I never knew that I would miss him so bad. Almost to the point of breaking out and going crazy but I know that if I don't keep it inside things will happen. and not terribly bad things but just the things that I don't feel like dealing with right now. I never knew that I was this emotional. I am seeing a whole new side of me that I have never seen before. But of course no one else has seen it either so its kind of like this part of me doesn't even exist. I think I do miss him. I'm yet positive that it is him but it might as well be. (dont worry im fine).
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