I sit and stare; I wonder how I get by. Is there something wrong with me? I can never quite understand what they are saying. They yell at me and say that I am not paying attention, they tell me i'm not listening. All I can do is agree even thought it’s not the truth. I can’t fight back, I don’t have that power. I’m like an ant living in a human world. I just wish that I could say something, do anything. Most people have it a lot worse but I still suffer. I ask to go to the bathroom. Then I leave the class not to go to the bathroom but to cry. When I walk back to class I wipe my tears because I am too big of a wimp to tell anyone what is wrong. I sit and stare planning my escape to my land of dreams were I run away to and everything is perfect. Almost like that song I hear in the car. Then I wonder how, why, and when I will be there. Then I see my friends and even though I don’t tell them what is wrong they make me feel better every time. My friends are like a family, no better. I can’t cry at home because no one would understand my pain. There are more things that are wrong that don’t have to do with school that running away cant help.I walk through the halls and se him and I smile but then he keeps walking and I cry. Does he know? Nobody else knows because I can’t tell them. My life is like a swimming pool of tears because I am a wimp and cant help but to cry. I need help but can’t ask for it. I know it’s confusing but it’s my life and only makes since to me.
Home
When I go home I hear nonstop yelling and screaming. I think my dad is bipolar but ill never know. The piano only bothers me when I hear the same song played multiple times very poorly. Sometimes ill change the song in my head to the one that I wouldn’t mind to hear over and over again. The one and only one that plays softly in the background of my dream land. No singing, all piano, many notes, indescribable.
My dream land is a place with no end and were forever stays. I would love to know how that feels. All evil is eliminated. No tears have ever been seen. All people and things are nothing but kind. You are not judged on you skin color or how much money you have or how popular you are. It’s a wonderful place, stress free, all sun and smiles, everyone is welcome, and it’s my special place. Does it exist at all? Will I ever be happy for real? I guess that I could just go there in a dream or something but even then it wouldn’t be as good as I imagine it. Maybe ill just have to wait until I die and go to haven. I mean haven and my dream land are a lot alike.
Money
The world is nothing but money if you really think about it. I mean you pay to go to school so that you can get a job and pay for your house and what is in it. And all the extra things you get such as electronics and sports and going on vacations you have to pay for to, and all of this money goes to someone else so that they can do the same thing. It’s kind of like our own circle of life and it is destroying all of us.
Michael's Music
I like how Michael Jackson put it when he said "we are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving" and when he said "if you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change", and all of the other messages that he tried to get to people through his music. It may not have touched many people but it touched me and when I listen to his music it makes me think about my dream land and were we don’t have to make a change because it is a perfect place. But we are the world, we are the children chained together by the love in our hearts.
Dream Land
We would get there by running and never looking back. We would dance on air and wouldn’t need it when we swim. We all have amazing personalities and were all heroes. This land would take your breath away. Nothing but blue skies, beautiful blue skies, and felid after felids of glorious flowers. It would be better than what you se in the movies.
Christmas
Every year for Christmas I ask Santa to take me there for my present but of course i never get to go. Since I didn’t get my Christmas wish I guess that you could say that I don’t get anything for Christmas but that would be too greedy to say. but I know in my heat that the day will come and I will start to run and I will never look back and before I know it I will be there, in my dream world. The smile on my face and the joy in my heart will be bigger than the land itself. I would never have to go back to the dreadful world that some people call home. I would express my true feelings and never have to think about anything bad ever again. I would say and do what ever I wanted with out any one telling me that it was wrong. And telling me every move to make.
Home
When I go home I hear nonstop yelling and screaming. I think my dad is bipolar but ill never know. The piano only bothers me when I hear the same song played multiple times very poorly. Sometimes ill change the song in my head to the one that I wouldn’t mind to hear over and over again. The one and only one that plays softly in the background of my dream land. No singing, all piano, many notes, indescribable.
My dream land is a place with no end and were forever stays. I would love to know how that feels. All evil is eliminated. No tears have ever been seen. All people and things are nothing but kind. You are not judged on you skin color or how much money you have or how popular you are. It’s a wonderful place, stress free, all sun and smiles, everyone is welcome, and it’s my special place. Does it exist at all? Will I ever be happy for real? I guess that I could just go there in a dream or something but even then it wouldn’t be as good as I imagine it. Maybe ill just have to wait until I die and go to haven. I mean haven and my dream land are a lot alike.
Money
The world is nothing but money if you really think about it. I mean you pay to go to school so that you can get a job and pay for your house and what is in it. And all the extra things you get such as electronics and sports and going on vacations you have to pay for to, and all of this money goes to someone else so that they can do the same thing. It’s kind of like our own circle of life and it is destroying all of us.
Michael's Music
I like how Michael Jackson put it when he said "we are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving" and when he said "if you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change", and all of the other messages that he tried to get to people through his music. It may not have touched many people but it touched me and when I listen to his music it makes me think about my dream land and were we don’t have to make a change because it is a perfect place. But we are the world, we are the children chained together by the love in our hearts.
Dream Land
We would get there by running and never looking back. We would dance on air and wouldn’t need it when we swim. We all have amazing personalities and were all heroes. This land would take your breath away. Nothing but blue skies, beautiful blue skies, and felid after felids of glorious flowers. It would be better than what you se in the movies.
Christmas
Every year for Christmas I ask Santa to take me there for my present but of course i never get to go. Since I didn’t get my Christmas wish I guess that you could say that I don’t get anything for Christmas but that would be too greedy to say. but I know in my heat that the day will come and I will start to run and I will never look back and before I know it I will be there, in my dream world. The smile on my face and the joy in my heart will be bigger than the land itself. I would never have to go back to the dreadful world that some people call home. I would express my true feelings and never have to think about anything bad ever again. I would say and do what ever I wanted with out any one telling me that it was wrong. And telling me every move to make.
People Controlling your Life without Knowing
no one really teaches you how to live a life once you get one, so I believe that it should be open ended, for you to chose what to do with it and do with it what you will. But I guess that life doesn’t work that way. If you really think about it, when someone tells you what to or how to act do and you do it, they are basically controlling your life and you are not in control of your own life. There pealing away at something good in your life and replacing it with the memory of not being in control. For that for that reason I don’t do most of the things that I am told to do because I want to be me and not something that someone tells me to be. But that isn’t making my life better because than they get mad and yell at me more and I get in more trouble and it kind of melts your proud moment. That is basically what my life is like from the moment that I wake up in the morning until the second that I fall asleep at night. Its like when you make something bad happen and you try to fix it but it either gets worse or it gets better and then later it gets worse again.
Don’t Take Things For Granted
I do take a lot of things for granted and I am a little bit selfish. But that isn’t right. I mean well life is short and you should spend it like you only have a few days left, and I do but get yelled at for it a lot. I can’t tell them why I live this way otherwise they would probably think that I was taking back and then I would be in more trouble. One day I wrote a quote about it. Well here it goes, "you think that I don’t take life seriously but the truth is that I do but just in my own fun way. I don’t want to die knowing that I had a boring life. So don’t judge me on what you see on the outside of me by what you see unless you talk to me about it first (almost like, you can’t judge a book by its cover.) I like to take risks because if you aren’t in my buniess then you shouldn’t car and I do them even when I know that I am going to get in to trouble. So next tome that you see me and yell at me for doing just remember that i’m trying to have a good life/time".
Dance
One of the things in my life that has always been there for me was dance. Dance is what I can do and just relax and let my emotions out by the thing I love to do. I’ve been doing it since I was little and it is amazing.i love to be up on stage and even though i have stage fright i just love it. you can feel the energy all over your body. you feel happy when you know that the audiance loves it. its like magic. It’s kind of undesirable.
My Dad Says
My Dad tells me that everyone in the world is bad and never to love anyone because no one will ever love you. He also says that some way some time some how everyone that you love will let you down. As to what I responded “what a horrible thing to say to your daughter, you lire!". I actually believe that people do let you down but not everyone. I say that everyone that I like is my family until they let me down. So I guess that you could say that my whole family isn’t really a true family and my friends would probably make a better family then them because my friends don’t let me down. They are there for me through thick and thin. They wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt me. They protect me and love me. They are my family. They care for me. I think they would do anything for me. I would do anything for them.
He Is In More Pain
I guess that the only way to keep from crying is to smile. So I will go on with my life with a smile on my face pretending like nothing is wrong. Ill tries my beat to hide the fact that buried deep down inside of me there is lots of pain. Even though I do suffer I would like to share a story about a boy that went to my church that had it much worse. His name was Michael. From the moment that he was born he was crippled, disabled, sick, and in pain. He was in pain every second of his life. The thing is that hew never complained about it and he always had a smile on his face. He was also a vary nice boy that wanted to be a priests. Michael died at the age of 17 on Nov. 23, 2009. He never acted like anything was wrong when real he suffered every day. I think its amazing how he lived 17 long years and never said a word about how much he suffered.
To Be In Love
Do you know what it is like to be in love? It is the thing that gets you up in the morning (the other thing that gets you up is the need to pee.) love is when you smile when your phone buzzes because you know it’s him. It is when you cry every time you aren’t by him and someone says his name. And when you people say that you are a perfect couple and you say to your self that you are two souls with but a single thought, and two hearts that beat as one. Knowing that Faith makes all things possible, but Love makes them easy. Love knows that you are not loved because you are beautiful but you are beautiful because you are loved. Coming home to flowers at your mail box and your love at your door.
Missing Things in Life
I think that when life flies by so quick that we don’t see the good things but instead we see all of the bad things. And I know that in a few years I will remember this story and only remember the bad things because just like my dream world everything good will just float away just as fast as time itself.
no one really teaches you how to live a life once you get one, so I believe that it should be open ended, for you to chose what to do with it and do with it what you will. But I guess that life doesn’t work that way. If you really think about it, when someone tells you what to or how to act do and you do it, they are basically controlling your life and you are not in control of your own life. There pealing away at something good in your life and replacing it with the memory of not being in control. For that for that reason I don’t do most of the things that I am told to do because I want to be me and not something that someone tells me to be. But that isn’t making my life better because than they get mad and yell at me more and I get in more trouble and it kind of melts your proud moment. That is basically what my life is like from the moment that I wake up in the morning until the second that I fall asleep at night. Its like when you make something bad happen and you try to fix it but it either gets worse or it gets better and then later it gets worse again.
Don’t Take Things For Granted
I do take a lot of things for granted and I am a little bit selfish. But that isn’t right. I mean well life is short and you should spend it like you only have a few days left, and I do but get yelled at for it a lot. I can’t tell them why I live this way otherwise they would probably think that I was taking back and then I would be in more trouble. One day I wrote a quote about it. Well here it goes, "you think that I don’t take life seriously but the truth is that I do but just in my own fun way. I don’t want to die knowing that I had a boring life. So don’t judge me on what you see on the outside of me by what you see unless you talk to me about it first (almost like, you can’t judge a book by its cover.) I like to take risks because if you aren’t in my buniess then you shouldn’t car and I do them even when I know that I am going to get in to trouble. So next tome that you see me and yell at me for doing just remember that i’m trying to have a good life/time".
Dance
One of the things in my life that has always been there for me was dance. Dance is what I can do and just relax and let my emotions out by the thing I love to do. I’ve been doing it since I was little and it is amazing.i love to be up on stage and even though i have stage fright i just love it. you can feel the energy all over your body. you feel happy when you know that the audiance loves it. its like magic. It’s kind of undesirable.
My Dad Says
My Dad tells me that everyone in the world is bad and never to love anyone because no one will ever love you. He also says that some way some time some how everyone that you love will let you down. As to what I responded “what a horrible thing to say to your daughter, you lire!". I actually believe that people do let you down but not everyone. I say that everyone that I like is my family until they let me down. So I guess that you could say that my whole family isn’t really a true family and my friends would probably make a better family then them because my friends don’t let me down. They are there for me through thick and thin. They wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt me. They protect me and love me. They are my family. They care for me. I think they would do anything for me. I would do anything for them.
He Is In More Pain
I guess that the only way to keep from crying is to smile. So I will go on with my life with a smile on my face pretending like nothing is wrong. Ill tries my beat to hide the fact that buried deep down inside of me there is lots of pain. Even though I do suffer I would like to share a story about a boy that went to my church that had it much worse. His name was Michael. From the moment that he was born he was crippled, disabled, sick, and in pain. He was in pain every second of his life. The thing is that hew never complained about it and he always had a smile on his face. He was also a vary nice boy that wanted to be a priests. Michael died at the age of 17 on Nov. 23, 2009. He never acted like anything was wrong when real he suffered every day. I think its amazing how he lived 17 long years and never said a word about how much he suffered.
To Be In Love
Do you know what it is like to be in love? It is the thing that gets you up in the morning (the other thing that gets you up is the need to pee.) love is when you smile when your phone buzzes because you know it’s him. It is when you cry every time you aren’t by him and someone says his name. And when you people say that you are a perfect couple and you say to your self that you are two souls with but a single thought, and two hearts that beat as one. Knowing that Faith makes all things possible, but Love makes them easy. Love knows that you are not loved because you are beautiful but you are beautiful because you are loved. Coming home to flowers at your mail box and your love at your door.
Missing Things in Life
I think that when life flies by so quick that we don’t see the good things but instead we see all of the bad things. And I know that in a few years I will remember this story and only remember the bad things because just like my dream world everything good will just float away just as fast as time itself.
4 comments:
lol this thing is like over 1000 words
i found out that it is 2,046 words.....holy cowzzzzzz :)
hi itss abbs this is a great story/poem. it is sad in a good way. I love the words and thought you put into this beautiflly written story/poem
:)
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